Archive for February 22nd, 2010

I was puzzled as a youngster (and indeed, up until last week) by the title of “Norwegian Wood.”  The song is moody, and I always pictured a dark forest of young skinny trees, probably related to the photomural in my dentist’s office.  But no, I read now that it was a dig at the girl’s cheap furnishings. Paul said in a 1998 book:

Peter Asher had his room done out in wood, a lot of people were decorating their places in wood. Norwegian wood. It was pine really, cheap pine. But it’s not as good a title, ‘Cheap Pine,’ baby.

For a famous guy, John famously had some issues with women (witness the original lyrics of “Day Tripper” — hint: She was not a “big” teaser). Also I didn’t realize until years later that he supposedly burns down her apartment (or whatever it is) at the end of the song. To which I say “Hmph.”

So to create the effect this song apparently should have had on me, I have reworded it slightly.

She texted ‘Come over’ so I rushed to get to her flat
I plied her with liquor and told her she didn’t look fat
We laughed at ourselves / isn’t it swell / IKEA shelves

She played me her John Mayer albums and I found them vile
I told her I wanted to bonk now and she didn’t smile
She put me through hell / isn’t it swell / IKEA shelves.

Still mysterious: how British people sleep in bathtubs.

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This was my pre-Christmas tip on Twitter: Tin snips, which will only run you about $14, are the answer you have been searching for to annoying plastic packaging.  They cut through that stuff the way scissors slice through paper.  It’s very satisfying.  Also, grab these when you have to cut up credit cards.  Snip!  You’re done.

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